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           WHAT WOULD YOU DO?


What would you do when everything in your life come crashing?
How would you react if all that you hold dear is snatched away from you in a single eye's blink?
 How hard will you cry when your life feels,smells and tastes shattered stuff??
I dont know about you but i'll cry, i'll cry because i'll be angry,i'll cry because i hate pain,i'll cry because i'll feel deserted,i'll cry because,ITS UNFAIR!
     I seat here to write from my heart,my fingers angrily strike the keys of the keyboard,stinging but held-back- in tears fill my eyes!
 I'm angry,i wish i wasn't but i cant help it! haven't i tried enough! juggling up and doing so many things just to become all that my parents do not have the courage to make or watch  me be! i am pissed because God knows all of this,He knows my struggle,pain ,sorrow yet does absolutely nothing! yet some people come and tell me,GOD LOVES YOU!  not like i dont believe it but i cant see,or understand what sort of love it is! i mean what kind of love watches pain being inflicted and just looks on without saying or even doing anything!
    I've met people who have a lot more than they need,they even go as far as taking what they have for granted,connections,a loving family,caring and nice siblings,friendly friends and lots and lots of money!
   They were born in wealth,i was born in poverty,they were born in love,i was born in a home filled with anger,hatred and bitterness;they were born out of love,i was born out of a mistake,a very expensive mistake that i wish never,ever happened!
     pushing back the tears gets difficult by every key strike,but i cant cry,not now,not here;
I cant stop writing until i am free,of all the hurt buckled up inside,those privileged kids did absolutely nothing to deserve what they have,neither did I.
    I hate that i try and fail,i hate that pain exists,i hate that people have so much right over my life and people just always tell me what is wrong about me than they do what is right about me.
    I hate that i feel like people are better than me,and they never fail to rub it off in my face.....what i would do if my world shatters right before my very eye,is cry so hard that my eyes hurt,yes I am a christian but i will be angry,i'll pour out my heart,i will feel unhappy and i am not ashamed to admit it  but do you know  what else i will do?
   i'll wipe my tears,i'll deal with how i feel and face life again,i am not a coward;that is why i wont give up on life,i wont give up on me,i wont give up on God! i'll keep living because that's why God created me,TO LIVE AND LIVE I WILL,i wont be angry at God because it is not worth it. i neeed Him much more than He needs me!
  Even if in the the time of pain,i feel like the worst,after the pain,i'll tell myself who i really am, the BLESSED OF GOD!...
I have all it takes to be all i am supposed to be an nothing will stop me,not pain,anger,self-pity or even the devil.. The only one that has the ability to stop me is ME! and i wont do that to myself....
    The tears have moved back to where they came from and I'm getting back my footing(writing does that to me)...i am taking my stand back,as a christian,as the success that i am.... I'm very sorry for disappointing you mr devil,you wanted me to remain down but i am standing and trust me,I'LL KEEP STANDING NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I FALL!
                                                                                                           AMAKASON
                                                                                                             submitted to HIS WORD!

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