HIM
I sit here and try to think about what to write and i just feel really blank...Hi guys! it feels great to be writing again. its a very beautiful thing when one knows that there's someone somewhere reading what they wrote. thank you guys! you guys are the best. i can't get tired of saying that so don't ask.
Earlier this morning,i was just singing songs to God when i felt this over whelming power engulf me....it was so beautiful and engulfing that i just couldn't stand from where i was. i'm not one of those people who feel a need to shake my body or really move when worshiping(i feel it takes the focus off God and puts it on how well you are worshiping) a lot of guys do all those acrobatics most times because they feel it keeps them connected,or should i say undistracted. That's cool but i do hope they are careful enough not to begin equating worship of God to acrobatics( a friend of mine callls it that..lol..)
I've being feeling really not good since last night and i woke up this morning feeling worse...it reminded me of what Joyce Meyer usually says,do not go to bed feeling bad because it has a tendency to take deep roots in your sleeep. you are likely to go over and over it in our sleep. i knew this but didnt even care,i went to bed still feeling that way,nothing out of the ordinary happened but its just one of those nights when you wish you could change a lot of things but you just feel powerless about it. i woke up this morning and after general devotion,i just felt i needed to get down on my knees and get the fowl mood out of my system before my day is completely wrecked. i finshed doing all the chores assigned to me and went to a place where i wasn't going to be disturbed. it reminded me of the those days when my quiet time was in the very early hours of the morning. Days when the very first person you speak to is the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE! those days were more than beautiful(maybe i should go back to them...what do you think!)
There are a lot of songs i love and listen to but some songs began to have some really great meaning as i sang them this morning. Last night i read a friend's write up on her blog and i was tremendously blessed. you should read it too..check it out here, www.Rhemzpkay.blogspot.com..the exact article is titled OCEANS. in the article she spoke about a song and as i read the lyrics of the song,i was blessed again and again. There are times in life when you feel yourself choking from so many things. Times when you feel down and out so much that all the strength you have is drained out of you. Times when you feel so over whelmed by your problems that all you want to do is cry.As in really cry.
The world seems to be falling and you feel like you're right there at the center,about to be crushed. I've felt all of this before and so i understand a little bit of how it feels to be down on the ground and just wish someone was there to lift you up. I understand the feeling of hurt that comes whenever you realize all you have lost as a person,teenager,woman or a man. I know whats it's like to think about all those that have hurt you and just wish you never really had to meet them in your life.
There are times i feel like if i lived a second more,Iwas gonna be thrown away from this world into the world beyond. There are times i just feel so TIRED!!!!! I mean,tired to the bones. if you're like me and you feel this way sometimes,i just want you to know that i understand. I really do. I look at some people and i can practically see from the look on their face,that they're hurting real bad. If taking away their problems was possible by my own power,i would do it as many times as they want,but that would be taking God's place and trust me,God's place is the wrongest place to be!
I was chatting on whatsapp with a friend of mine(he's quite older than me but i call him my friend.it just makes talking with him a lot informal. formal things kinda gets me tired),he told quite a number of things and one of which was,Jesus died for you because he thought you good enough to go all the way for. you aren't just good,you are great,how you feel now doesn't matter,never forget that feelings do not last and they do not define who you are(i'm paraphrasing),hearing someone say those word to me were just eye opening. More often than not we forget how fickle our feelings are and let it determine how we act towards and around people.
Those words he sent to me would always be embedded in my memory(thank you uncle Uche), i think its time i go back to my this morning singing shey?..lol.
We were taught a particular song at church one sunday morning and let me say with all honesty that i was barely concentrating on the song. I didn't even write it down like some faithful people. I got to know the song finallly and that's because of how much i heard it being sung in church. Even with all of that i could only sing the chorus and first verse.
While i was singing today,the song just kept coming to my head and i kept singing. I even used it as my pm on bbm. The song began to have some very deep meaning to me as i sang it this morning. Its a song by Darlene and Isreal, i'm not really sure if it was their personal song or if it was in association was Hillsong choir(see my mouth like association) but i do know that they sang in the song.
Its amazing how much songs begin to have meaning when used in worshiping God. i'll write out the song and i really hope that it fills your heart with as much meaning as it did my heart this morning. Infact while i was singing,i heard God tell me"Amaka,let the words sink in!" this is me telling you now,please let the words sink in. I was able to get the second and third verse..
chorus: Your presence is heaven to me.
first verse: Who is like you Lord in all the earth.
March less love and beauty in this world,
Nothing in this world will satisfy,
Jesus you're the cup that wont run dry.
(chorus)
second verse: Treasure of my heart and of my soul.
In my weakness, you are merciful.
Redeemer of my past and present wrongs.
You're the holder of my future days to come
(chorus)
third verse:All my days on earth i will await.
The moment when i see you face to face
Nothing in this world will satisfy
Jesus you're the cup that wont run dry
bridge:Oh Jesus,oh Jesus,Your presence is heaven to me....
That's the song! As i was writing, i felt an amazing peace fill my soul. I don't know about you but God's throne is the place where i find refuge and strength. Are you tired of being strong?...God is just a few words away. Talk to Him, He is the only One that can understand you like you want to be understood. Let His presence indeed be Heaven to you,and watch His love fill your heart with over flowing joy and gladness.
My trip to I.B hasn't being concluded yet, i'll do that one of these days...by the way,i have a spoken word poetry competition tomorrow somewhere around Ikoyi, your prayers will be seriously needed.
As you all know,i love you all more than words can explain.
Submitted to His Word
Amakason
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